Before i leave tomorrow i just wanted to let you have something to read so that you won't feel that i'm gone for too long. i'm sorry that i've lied to you. i know how you detest liars and i became one of them. you made me see sense in what i had done wrong.

you have been the greatest thing that has come into my life. i've not remembered a time in these past months where i've been upset for a whole day. you have been there to console me and made me see that things are not going to go my way all the time.

you been stressed, overworked, tired and all but still you make time for me.

you mean the world to me, and it sucks to make you upset.

i love you pamela goh yee ching. take care of yourself now when i'm overseas. <3

so here i am sitting alone on a vintage leather chair in Singapore Arts Museum. i have not slept for a whole day and i can't sleep for another either. that's cause stupid me keeps getting up late to make it in time for the 11am tour and now on the day before the submission, i'm rushing and pushing myself like crazy. i've been here since 2pm and i ended work at 6am. no sleep at all. well, sort of. unless i want to be anal and count the amount of naps i grab at the given chance. my eyes want to pop out of my head but somehow the artworks here just calm me down. it amazes me that artist go to such lengths to produce fantastic artworks. I especially like Lu Hao. go research on his work, 2008 Landscape series, it is just awesome. okay, back to work now. come on conrad, you can do it. mind over matter even if you're mentally tired.. urgh.. i'm cranky..

am i really such a terrible person to you? you know that i'll never do anything to hurt you. maybe its what i'm doing to myself that's hurting you. i truely and honestly care about you <                                                               this much                                                                                        > which is more than anything else that can be measured. you're everything to me and i'll not go through a day, a hour, a minute or a second without thinking about you. you mean the world to me. <3

its how you just surprise me with P.Osh brownies and other things that made me so sure that you're so much more. i miss you and i can't wait for after your As so we can travel overseas. =)

i saw her almost break down that day. tears welled up in her eyes and she struggled to maintain her composure in front of me. it makes me even more upset that i can't be there next to her while she studies all the time. at least when i'm there i know that she'll be okay without having to stress out. its almost over hun! just two plus more months! i'm here with you all the way. <3

♥ 

SINGAPORE (AFP) - - Fauzi Rassull is a slim 20-year-old blogger, popular among Singapore's fashionable youngsters, who flaunts his 1.73-metre (5-foot 8-inch), 60-kilogram (132-pound) frame in glamour shots splashed on his sites.

Thanks in part to anti-fat advocates like Fauzi, thin is in among Singapore teens and young adults, but experts warn that the fad is behind a worrying spike in the number of people developing eating disorders.

"I don't see myself as thin, I don't think I'm thin now," he insisted, saying he was aiming to cut his weight down to 53 kilograms.

Fauzi's dream weight would put him below the healthy range of the Body Mass Index (BMI) system used in many countries to measure fat.

At that weight, Fauzi, who does not hold a regular job and sells ads on his blog, would be risking "nutritional deficiency diseases and osteoporosis" based on the BMI scale of the Singapore Health Promotion Board, a government agency.

Fauzi, whose blog "The Male Bitch" was voted Singapore's most popular blog for four consecutive weeks in 2009, denies he is encouraging anorexia, which afflicts many Asian youngsters.

"I just want to be skinny and people misinterpret skinny and anorexic," he said, referring to hate mail he had been receiving from outraged people accusing him of promoting the eating disorder.

Medical studies show anorexia has become an endemic problem in Asian countries, whether in industrial powerhouses such as Japan and South Korea or emerging economies like India.

Singapore is no exception, with the Eating Disorders Programme of the Singapore General Hospital reporting five new cases a month. Many other cases are handled by private clinics.

Singapore has a resident population of just 3.64 million, of whom 13.4 percent belong to the 15 to 24 age category, the demographic most susceptible to the disorder, according to psychiatrist Ken Ung.

"I think that the eating disorders are sort of a novelty, curiosity, so they are fairly popular to young people," said Ung, who has studied anorexia for years.

He disapproves of websites and blogs such as Fauzi's due to their influence among the young.

"These sites should be taken down, definitely it is harmful to that small vulnerable minority that will be influenced," he said.

Popular social networking site Facebook apparently shared the same sentiments.

Fauzi said his 900-strong Facebook group -- "Get Thin or Die Trying" -- saw a spike in membership before it was taken down by site administrators in April this year.

He was also issued a warning and refused permission to start a new Facebook group after repeated attempts.

In a copy of the warning sent to Fauzi, Facebook said the site does not allow "groups that are hateful, threatening or obscene."

But Fauzi, who is also the creator of "The Thinspo Club" on Facebook's rival social networking site Friendster, said all he was trying to do was gather like-minded individuals to share slimming tips.

"I just want Singaporeans to lead a healthy lifestyle as well," he said.

Lee Huei Yen, the director of the Eating Disorders Programme, was sceptical of Fauzi's diet.

"The diet does not sound healthy and balanced and this person may possibly have an eating disorder," she said.

A freelance model, Braberry Paula Elizabeth, also expressed concern over Fauzi's slimming obsession.

"To me he's really slim, but I don't know why he wants to be thinner," said the svelte 19-year-old contestant in a beauty competition organised by bikini magazine FHM Singapore.

"Slimming is one thing, but there's a limit to everything," she said.

Fauzi brushes aside such concerns and is single-mindedly pursuing his dream of being as fashionably thin as American socialite Paris Hilton.

"She's my idol, she's very pretty, that's why I want to go to the extent of trying to be as thin as possible," he gushed.

"It's all about glamour."

I seriously don't understand how they can give a review rating of 4/5 for harry potter and the half blood prince. i went for the free movie at great world city booked under youthempire and honestly, the movie was such a disappointment. really wasted about 2 hours of my life. so draggy and not exciting. oh well.. anyway, i suggest that you guys not watch it unless you really want to but that's just my personal opinion. lastly, i'm thinking about the runway show tomorrow. damn NUM outfit. sigh.. i'm off to sleep now. Night ya'll.